Monday, 19 January 2009

Maudlin Monday and Gratitude

Well, today's one of those days when I'm in danger of letting my fears and anxieties get on top of me. And tonight I received a wonderful email about gratitude from a dear friend and it's helped me get back on top of things.

Just before Christmas two oft-used appliances decided to go belly up - the food saver and the juicer. In addition, my computer has been a bit cantankerous for the last six months or so - it took me over two hours to get it to boot up and be stable yesterday. It's old and it's dying and I need to replace it.

So, I've been a little concerned about juggling money around to replace the above items. The new food saver was found at a sale on Friday YAY! We tried it out Saturday morning and it works better than the old one ever did. Double YAY! And I'm really grateful that we found it and it was on sale and that it works better than the old one.

I thought my computer was definitely kaput yesterday, so went window shopping on my partner's machine and found what I think is a pretty good deal. I've also done some juicer research and narrowed it down to a couple of choices.

So, if I buy the computer (which I really do need when studies resume in a couple of weeks), I won't be able to afford the juicer for a little while (and I'm really missing my vegie juices!). But I'm grateful that if I just have a little patience and prioritise my spending, I will be able to afford both items.

Tonight I went to the cupboard to get some rice for our dinner. To my dismay, I found that the cupboard was infested with moths (how is it that they are suddenly there?) and that most of the rice that we had stored has been ruined. But I'm grateful that we did have some rice left unmothed and that they didn't get into the next cupboard which houses all our flours and other grains. And that my darling man helped me clean up the mess they'd made.

The summer sun is also testing me at the moment. It's damaging a lot of plants and my visions of bumper crops are rapidly waning. But I'm grateful that the citrus seem to be doing well and there are small oranges on one of the trees. I'm also grateful that I can turn on a tap and water the garden (within restrictions, of course!).

Now to the biggie. I have a CT scan booked for Wednesday to check on the residual mass from the lymphoma I was diagnosed with nearly seven years ago. I really do not like having the scans because there's always the possibility that the wretched thing is growing again.

This scan is a kind of critical one - it's just a few weeks before the five year anniversary of my stem cell transplant. So, if everything is alright, as it should be, then I'll have reached a pretty important milestone. But there's always the worry that it's not and then what? But I'm grateful for the medical know-how that's kept me alive so far and for the support of my wonderful partner, family and friends.

I'll probably be a bit of a wreck for the next couple of days until I have the scan and get the results, but I'm hoping Wednesday might be Woohoo Wednesday!

Reading this over, I realise I'm really very fortunate if these are my major concerns. After all, I live in a free country in relative luxury, compared to a lot of people in the world. I could have been born in Bosnia or Iraq or Ethiopia or Zimbabwe or . . .

I'm so lucky! We're so lucky! Enjoy your life. It's a good one.

love and light


Anonymous said...

You're in my prayers girl, I can understand your trpidation about Wednesday.

You are right, we do have so very much to be grateful for, including each other in our blog circles.. I just know you will have many prayers and thoughts for you on your testing Wednesday.

Shirl said...

Thanks for dropping by and your lovely comment. If I do look younger, lol, it's down to organic food and great make-up!

This is a lovely post. We do have so much to be grateful for yet some of the time we forget to be thankful.

I'm sending you blessings for Wednesday and I very much hope all goes well.

Shirl x

Kel said...

sending you warm well wishes for wednesday, the rest can just wait!

flmom said...

(((((HUGS))))) Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

TheCrone said...

What time are you home today dear friend?

Can you put a 'wanted' ad on freecycle for a juicer - just to get you through the next couple of pays?

Will chat tonight if you are up for a call.

Wendy said...

We are lucky! I also am grateful for bloggers. They're the best!

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for an "all clear" CT scan.
Love and Light

Mist said...

Oh, I'll be thinking of you on Wednesday for sure.

It's wonderful to find gratitude during difficult times, but remember that fear and doubt are healthy for us to an extent too!

So good that you have friends around to lift you up when you need it. :)

gaby said...

We have a juicer that you are willing to borrow long term, it hasn't be used since before Mr M was born.

naturewitch said...

Dear All
Thanks for all your good thoughts and wishes. I'll post tomorrow when I know the results. xx

Libby said...

I'm not surprised that you are nervous, but staying positive has to help. Sending positive thoughts your way!!!

Cheryl said...

You juggle well naturewitch and I am sure you will get your juicer at some point.

Hot weather seems a distant dream at the moment.....I hope some of your veggies survive, I am sure they will.

Holding you in my thoughts and hope that your scan is okay. You are being positive, and that is so important.

By the way Poppi is looking somewhat better on her Fer Phos....

Take care....

Em said...

Good luck today NW xxx

Anonymous said...

Just read your comments about the moths and thought I'd pass on a tip I read somewhere. You can kill off pantry moths by keeping your flour etc in the freezer for seven days before use. Even better, if you have a chest top freezer it can be wrapped up and stored in there permanently. Kind of like a mini cold pantry.