Maudlin Monday and Gratitude

Well, today's one of those days when I'm in danger of letting my fears and anxieties get on top of me. And tonight I received a wonderful email about gratitude from a dear friend and it's helped me get back on top of things.

Just before Christmas two oft-used appliances decided to go belly up - the food saver and the juicer. In addition, my computer has been a bit cantankerous for the last six months or so - it took me over two hours to get it to boot up and be stable yesterday. It's old and it's dying and I need to replace it.

So, I've been a little concerned about juggling money around to replace the above items. The new food saver was found at a sale on Friday YAY! We tried it out Saturday morning and it works better than the old one ever did. Double YAY! And I'm really grateful that we found it and it was on sale and that it works better than the old one.

I thought my computer was definitely kaput yesterday, so went window shopping on my partner's machine and found what I think is a pretty good deal. I've also done some juicer research and narrowed it down to a couple of choices.

So, if I buy the computer (which I really do need when studies resume in a couple of weeks), I won't be able to afford the juicer for a little while (and I'm really missing my vegie juices!). But I'm grateful that if I just have a little patience and prioritise my spending, I will be able to afford both items.

Tonight I went to the cupboard to get some rice for our dinner. To my dismay, I found that the cupboard was infested with moths (how is it that they are suddenly there?) and that most of the rice that we had stored has been ruined. But I'm grateful that we did have some rice left unmothed and that they didn't get into the next cupboard which houses all our flours and other grains. And that my darling man helped me clean up the mess they'd made.

The summer sun is also testing me at the moment. It's damaging a lot of plants and my visions of bumper crops are rapidly waning. But I'm grateful that the citrus seem to be doing well and there are small oranges on one of the trees. I'm also grateful that I can turn on a tap and water the garden (within restrictions, of course!).

Now to the biggie. I have a CT scan booked for Wednesday to check on the residual mass from the lymphoma I was diagnosed with nearly seven years ago. I really do not like having the scans because there's always the possibility that the wretched thing is growing again.

This scan is a kind of critical one - it's just a few weeks before the five year anniversary of my stem cell transplant. So, if everything is alright, as it should be, then I'll have reached a pretty important milestone. But there's always the worry that it's not and then what? But I'm grateful for the medical know-how that's kept me alive so far and for the support of my wonderful partner, family and friends.

I'll probably be a bit of a wreck for the next couple of days until I have the scan and get the results, but I'm hoping Wednesday might be Woohoo Wednesday!

Reading this over, I realise I'm really very fortunate if these are my major concerns. After all, I live in a free country in relative luxury, compared to a lot of people in the world. I could have been born in Bosnia or Iraq or Ethiopia or Zimbabwe or . . .

I'm so lucky! We're so lucky! Enjoy your life. It's a good one.

love and light
naturewitch